What's happening????

We took an exciting trip up to the big city to watch walking with the dinosaurs. My family wanted to sale the tickets and make a little money off of them. But I held strong and we went and had a blast ...

Keller found a sucker that someone had brought to my dads viewing (The Brown's) and Porter was helpful and opened it for him. By the time I got keller to the tub both of my arms were stuck together at the elbow and I had my hair stuck to my cheek. Now as a mom I know why so many people cussed my dad about the mess that the suckers made. But what an idea that my child eating a sucker could now mean so much to me.

Don't Cry...

"Don't Cry because it is over, laugh because it happened."
I found this quote today on one of those emails that you get that is a power point that is ten hours long. So during my prep period today I was checking my email. The for ever long power point attachment was there and I started watching it. So I started crying I am still a little emotional. But in the middle of it I read this quote there was no author but it really hit close to home and reminded me of my dad. So I thought I would share it with my "bloggin PEEPS"

In a Funk!!!

I went back to school yesterday and it was weird. I haven't been back in two weeks and I felt like I was in a new world. My friends asked how I was doing and my answer was "I am in a FUNK." My friend said what is a funk. I have no idea it is just a feeling of life is moving on and going but you are there but not really there. It is weird that life has moved on. Dad has been gone almost two weeks and I still find myself going down to his room to check on him. I think I keep doing it because I am not sure that the last two weeks are real. I woke up the other morning and asked Jake if this last two weeks really happened. I asked him "Is my dad really gone?" So I would describe my life now as a FUNK. But now that I have told you all my problems. I think that the awful air outside and no sunshine doesn't help out matters. I think I am ready for spring. Ready for softball and ready to get outside. But that means the yard work. Maybe with the economy being the way it is. We will be able to get our grass in for cheap....

The 6JWS

Well it has been a week of ups and downs. I would just like to thank everyone who sent flowers and stood in line for hours just to show support to my family at this time. I had the opportunity to see so many people and make quick little visits with many I have shared many precious experiences with in my life. I wish I could have spent more time talking with each of you. I just wanted to share the last family picture that I will ever have with my father alive. I will miss him, and know that he is in a much better place then the rest of us. Thanks again for being part of our lives and sharing time with us, and the most wonderful father anyone could ask for. (Jami thanks for making us all take this picture what would we do without it?) One thing I can say is our family may be crazy, weird, fun. The one thing that I can say without question is that our FAMILY IS FOREVER.. I love you dad.

Somethings missing

So something is missing.. I feel so empty. I know that I will see my dad again and know that he is with Jesus, but dang I want him back. I would give anything to turn the clock back about 9 years. The last few years all though he has been there physically but not all the way mentally. He was still there. But now that everything is gone it has been difficult. I have seen many friends and family in the last two days and have enjoyed many visits. I have decided that there are a lot of good people out there. One of moms very best friends has been twice both days, called to check on her before she went to bed and when she first woke up. Just wanting to see if she needed anything and just so concerned. I am amazed at the love and out pouring. So Thank you. It has made the time a little easier, but I will be honest it is tough. I was informed today that I have reacted the way everyone expected. I just cry. SHOCKER. I have the bright red shiny nose and just sit and cry. One of my very best friends has taken on a huge project for our family with a smile on her face and said" What else can I do?" I don't know how to express my thanks to all of you.
But my heart is broken as well as full of love and appreciation for all of you..

Stop and smell the roses

I am sure that most of you know, We lost my dad today. Wow what a trooper. It has been almost 9 years since his first stroke. It has seemed like for ever ago, but now looking back it seems like yesterday we were all at the hospital sitting waiting for a doctor to come and john cussing yes cussing because he wanted to go home. When he made up his mind that was how it was and he was only a little on the STUBBORN side, and he was stubborn up to the last breathe. He fought hard and long, but his body was in rough shape. It was quiet and peaceful and I wouldn't have had it any other way. With mom by his side. She was there every step of the way. But the hardest part of this has been explaining to a 5 year old where grandpa john was going and what was going to happen. I talked to him about how he would meet his dad again. Then I told him how john was going to get to be back in his healthy body and run and jump, and be able to kick a little butt if someone needed it. So Porter asked me " When will John be back from getting his new body from Jesus?" UH UH UH

Tonight I pulled out the scrapbook and started looking. Yes and started crying again and porter said mom you thinking about John again..... UH UH YEP

SO then I turned to a page that had all the little cards that come when you get flowers sent to you. Every year on my birthday I hurried home and did not plan to leave until my flowers from my dad made it. There were about 8 years of cards all saying " I love you , From Dad" , or I love you Dolly ( that is what he called Jami and I). Wow those were real tear jerkers right now.

Then as we are looking through the scrapbook porter says " Mom maybe Jesus will send us a picture of him and grandpa john". UH UH OH PLEASE DO..

So then the tears are pouring and he says Just wipe your tears on my shirt it will make you feel better. Young faith and innocence. At moms house today the kids were running around and said let's go check on grandpa John. They also talked to each other about how they all ready miss him. After they had taken John from his home of more than 30 years, I just felt empty. He has struggled the last few years and not really been to involved with us, but I always knew he was there. But he is not longer there. I know he has moved onto a bigger and better place and he is with his father. But I miss him. I knew it was coming and thought I was ready. But I wasn't. So if you are still reading this please call your dad and let him know you love him and what he really means to you. I would give anything to sit out on our swing again and shoot the brease with mine.

Mindless ramblings at 1 in the moring.

So today has probably been one of the most bittersweet days of my life. I had all of my siblings, mother and fathers mother around. It is the first time we had all been together in a long time. We sat around my dad and cried and laughed and then cried some more. We talked about growing up and all those fun things that happened while you were growing up with siblings. Laughing about all the things that you did and have done with the family. We laughed about all the jokes my dad used to tell us. But for those of you who know him and know what he was like. We were talking about something that had happened and he has not really resonded to us besides squeezing our hands in the last few days. He all of a sudden is trying to pull his hand out of the bed to YES hang us all the bird.... It was his sign for I LOVE YOU>>>>
But we worked as a family to help keep dad comfortable. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but yet looking across his bed at my brothers and sister all with tears running down their checks gave me a feeling of peace. That together I think we can make it. But the hardest part of it all was singing happy birthday to my Mother who has been an amazing rock and taking care of my father through this all and singing happy birthday to my dad for probably the last time. He will only be 57 on the 14th. It is amazing to me what an impact he has made on so many people in such a short life.
Thanks for letting me vent my feelings of frustration love and appreciation. Now I will wipe the tears from my checks and post...