In the end !!! (long pitty post ahead)

The last few days of spring break have been pretty emotional for me. I think it is because I have had time to finally slow down and reflect on the last few months. WOW they are a blurr. I also have a blogging friend that is in the same situation I was a few months ago. My heart aches for her. I also had a really good friends mother get in a car accident and break both of her hips and broke her pelvis in 5 places. The last couple of weeks have been very emotional for my mother as well as the rest of us. It was Easter, and this was the first time that I have really sat and thought about Easter and how important the death and sacrifice of the savior really is. I am so thankful for it now.... It really helped my testimony I had to teach the 11 year old girls and I sobbed like a baby giving the lesson. The week before I took mom to Fillmore to look at headstones and try to pick one for dad. It made me physically sick when my mom was telling the guy that she wanted the kids names on it. I always thought that I would be an old blue haired lady with a walker when I buried a parent and had my name on a headstone. That is one of the biggest curve balls that I have been thrown in my life. But in the end we picked out a mountain with a fisherman and a stream and a DOGWOOD for mom....

I have listened to my dads funeral twice in the past few days and I have come to a few conclusions that I all ready new, but needed a little refresher on. Family comes first ALWAYS!! We get wrapped up in so many things and forget that, but no matter what they are the most important thing. I coach softball and love it, it is very time consuming,, and people take it so serious. A strike out for some girl is devastating, but how do you tell a high school girl that it really isn't that important in the scheme of life. It is just a fraction of a second and nobody will remember it. I also watched the movie Marley and ME. I knew what was going to happen the minute Jake put it in. I have never cried so hard at a movie before. I think it just hit so close to home. I have been thinking about getting porter a little dog to have in the house, but after this movie realized what happens and I don't think I could handle losing a dog. I looked back on my dads life and I knew but it hit me really hard how unselfish he was. Everything he did, he did for my mom and us kids. I wish that my kids could have known him. They would have loved him. I also think that he would have loved being a grandparent more than anything. Cade was the only grandchild we had that dad really had the chance to enjoy before his first stroke. The other lesson that I really learned from dads funeral was from his friends Bill's talk. Now that I have a kid of my own I understand. If your kids are involved in then you need to be too. You need to be involved 100% and be to all of the games and take the time to throw and extra pitch or work on their foul shot, or watch them do their dance one more time, and in the worse case listen to them screech the violin. Encourage your kids to be involved in good things, and make sure they see you in the stands cheering for them. I do know that my dad learned this from his parents. I also had a message today on face book from someone who was at my dads funeral who thanked me for encouraging them to tell their parents how they fell and what they mean. So things have snow balled lately, and I think that reality has hit me right square in the face. I miss my dad, and would give anything to have him back I am sure that my mom is reading this right now and crying. Sorry mom, but I needed to vent a little and what better way then blogging for the world to hear.