My one Word this year is Pause!!

My word of the year is going to be PAUSE!! Stop once in a while Pause and just enjoy life!! Because you never know when it may turn on you. Every year I look so forward to getting out of January. It is a month I just HATE.. .It is the month that everything bad seems to happen. I would be ok with a 11 month of the year calendar. IT is the month I lost my grandpa, one of our families dearest friends Lloyd, I miscarried my first baby in January and I lost my Father in January. So it is a month that honestly if we can get through it safely I feel good. This is the first time in many years that I actually have wondered where January went. Let me back up a month and half and tell ya why I wonder...All fall I would have to take weeks off from running and exercising for back pain. I would take a week off then run and be in pain, take time off run and hurt. But I handled it with a little Tylenol and advil. But I never just felt good. During Thanksgiving break and start of December if I sat down my left leg by the time I got to 10 would be totally numb. It was very annoying but I dealt with it. So in the middle of December I woke up and told jake in the middle of the night I was probably going to die. I didn't but I sure felt like it. So a few more days of hot baths every couple of hours and heating pads and icing and so much tylenol and advil I decided it was time to go to the dr. By the time I got into the drs office and he asked me to sit, I told him that if I sat I might explode. I had been eating dinner on my knees and as soon as I got home from work or anything I was flat in bed on heating pad. I soon found out that I had a large herniated disc with fragments. I was going to not have surgery and deal with it with physical therapy. Well that came to a quick stop after christmas break when I came home from the first day back at school and didn't get out of bed for 3 days. I have never felt so much pain. But the bottom line for the surgery decision came after a fast of what to do. My pain became so intolerable that I couldn't stand it. So surgery was decided. I was scared for the 3 days I had to wait. I cried, gave Jake instructions on what needed to happen after I died. I new I was going to have the January curse. SO even being administered the medicine for surgery I was giving Jake instructions on how to raise the kids and what he needed to do.
I came out alive, feeling better and so glad I did it. Now I am trying to get back strength and movement. But I am alive. I learned many lesson from this surgery. I know that is why I had the trial I did.

1. I love my husband and children more than anything.

2. I love that my husband is a worthy priesthood holder. I loved the comfort of the blessings I received from husband, brother in law and brother, and father in law over this time.

3. My mother and sister are my rocks and they are the best in the world. They are the McMuffins of sister and mothers.

4. My in laws truly love me and accept me as one of their own. They were fabulous.

5. I have some guardian angels looking out for me in a father, grandpa and a recently lost sweet cousin.

6. I have some great friends who stepped up and brought in dinners and took my kids and did everything that I asked or needed.

7.I have a great family support in grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, not one day have I gone with out someone checking on me.

8. I am prideful and sometimes I just need to drop it and get some help from others. It took a surgery to realize that.

9. I am loved by my heavenly father.

10. I need to pause every once in a while and look at all the blessings I have around me.

So I encourage you to pick a word and see how you do with it this year. I am now pausing with this post cause I am pretty sure you are sick of the ramblings.

Thankful for what??

This is the month of November... The month that we are all supposed to share with others what we are Thankful for. But yet each year Christmas and that isn't a bad thing keeps taking over and little is done and shared about Thanksgiving anymore. But I am very Thankful this year. I am Thankful for my job and for my home, and for HEATING PADS.. But mostly I am Thankful for family. I am thankful for a husband who some days just rolls with it. The minute he walks in the door I am dragging him to some fundraiser, activity something for the school and he doesn't complain. I am Thankful he is such a hard worker. He goes to work daily so that we can have the things we have.
I am also Thankful for both of my boys.. Each one has his own unique personality. I never imagined what the saying every child is so different could mean. Until I had Porter and keller. They both came from the same mom and dad, but yet so different. I love them both. I love Porter that he is so calm and mild and loves me no matter what. He is a rock to me. Then there is Keller it depends on the moment what he thinks about me. But he is not afraid to tell me what he thinks. I also love how busy he is. He keeps me on my toes. I have to stay one step ahead of him. Which I am usually about 5 steps behind. I love these boys. But I am also so Thankful for my family and their willingness to step in and help me with my kids while the back is struggling. I am also Thankful for all my Aunts and Uncles and cousins. I was recently reminded this past week with losing a dear sweet cousin. What the meaning of Family is.. I have a pretty great family and am thankful for each of them:-).

We all have Greatness..

This weekend I had the Privilege of attending a funeral. When is attending a funeral a privilege. Let me tell ya when.. It is when it is your sister in laws 31 year old little brother. A 31 year old man who had accomplished more in those short years, then most of us in a life time. Brad Barton was the Head Basketball coach for the college of Eastern Utah now known as USU extension. He was an amazing man. I do not believe that I have ever seen such a large funeral. It was held in the Ogden Dee Events Center. The place where he ended his college career. Playing two years for the Wild Cats. Many Thought, kind words, and Bradisms were shared this day. I walked away thinking when I die what will people say about me. I know that after this funeral I have a few things to change and get together in my life. I don't remember the last time I left a funeral feeling the way I did. So proud to have known him, so sad to have lost him, and heart broken for my sister in law, brother and her sweet little boys. They literally lost their super hero. He always had time for them. Each one of his nieces and nephews thought that they were his favorite.
I left the funeral with 3 very distinct ideas that stuck in my head. 1- Tomorrow is a promise to no one. Which is how Brad ended every email that he sent. 2- He also was very famous for saying that we all have "Greatness inside of us; we just need to find it." Which he truly believed in everyone. 3- Is that Brads hero was his parents and the savior. What better heros could you ask for. He had a love for his savior and was proud to tell everyone. What an amazing person. He will be greatly missed by many. Here is a link to a news paper article that someone wrote after interviewing him about some of his coaching philosophy. http://www.standard.net/stories/2011/10/05/barton-went-all-out-court-just-he-did-life#.To0Nfe5tpjV.facebook

LAst but not least Remember EVERY POINT MATTERS!!

Lazy Dayz of Summer.. In my DREAMZ!!!

Where to begin with this summer!! ( Pictures are out of order and I don't care to be honest). So with the mood I am in this summer you can either read and browse the pictures or not I really don't care. Let's start from the beginning of this wonderful miserable summer of mine. It all started the first week of summer. I took off and spent a week in Fillmore with three 8 years and a 3 year old. They were amazing to say the least. They had a blast at golf camp and playing with cousins. But while I was there what I thought was just a little stiff neck turned in to some of the worst pain I had ever felt. By friday my left arm was cradled up like it was in a sling and I couldn't move. By the time I got to the doctors office to have a melt down , and finally get to cry. I ended up with a herniated disc and a bulging one directly bellow. Are ya kidding me!! It hurt then and it still hurts. I am waiting to get into a specialist at the University of Utah for over a month and a half now. To maybe have surgery and another few weeks of PAIN.. Yea ME..

SO that tells you about the start of summer. With that problem in the fore front. We canceled San Diego Trip and decided if we want to do it this summer we better get it done before the specialist on the 21st. So hers is the run down on summer. I have tried to be a trooper and tough it out, but there have been days that I haven't been able to get out of bed. Those are the days for some reason a friend calls to take the boys for the day. I believe Heavenly Father hears those little prayers when you need it. SO here is the quick run down of summer.

The drive in- Yep Keller slept the entire ride down right through the movie and we did get a yawn out of him for pictures though.
Porter finished baseball league the last week in June that was supposed to end in May due to rain outs. What a spring we had..
Keller played T-ball with Ally and Abby. What a riot. Most nights my gut hurt from laughing. Keller has the Whicker competitiveness mixed with the Beck competitiveness. This could be deadly.. But he is fun to watch. He always has to win or we do it ADIN he says.
We spent every weekend we could at Shalom. This picture was actually the last day of June. The snow was unbelievable.. Four wheeler rides with herniated disc= no buieno.. But I wanted the kids to have some fun this summer
Keller went to soccer camp. He loved it and was in with a group of 5-6 year olds. He held his own to say the least. Porter and Drey also went to soccer camp and loved it. Porter missed the first day due to a round of Strep Throat. Are ya kidding me. So while I couldn't move my head or bend. I was trying to take care of a sick kid. It was a treat let me tell ya.
Another week in Fillmore for swim lessons. I must admit if the chance comes to move there I am gone PDQ. I love it there. I love being a round my aunts and uncles and cousins. I love going on a walk and checking on my dads grave every day. There is just something peaceful about knowing it is ok and taken care of. I stay with my Aunt Terri who teaches the boys swim lessons, and they get a lot of special attention. Plus Aunt Terri and Uncle Ross spoil us rotten. She makes the best dinners for us and she won't let me do dishes. It is great.. I usually spend lunch eating with Uncle Ross and he tells me things about my dad I have no idea. I usually either end up crying that I miss him so much or laughing that he did those kind of things. But I love visiting with him keeping my dads memory alive.
So a month of Tennis, soccer camp, baseball, golf, and swimming. I hope the summer has been great because who knows what the out come may be. But the one thing I know is that family is where it all begins and ends. With out them I wouldn't make it I am sure.

Simple Things

What a great day we had Saturday! These to little guys so far have been blessed together baptized together and who knows what other things they will get to have done together. It has been a lot of fun sharing these important days with my little brothers family. It makes for a special day each time.The final day of a week that had non stop jam packed things for me to do each day, turned out to be truly amazing.
It was also fun to get the siblings together and spend sometime together. We may not have it all together but together we have it all. Nothing makes me feel more complete then having my family together to celebrate this special day of Porters. The only one missing was my dad. Which caused me to have a bit of melt down and many tears were shed because of this.
But my mom and Jami made a sign for Porter and Coleman. Just a simple sign caused me so much happiness and tears. As the bishop began conducting the meeting I looked up at that sign not a big deal cute, and appropriate for the occasion. But what brought streaming tears to my eyes is the tie. The ties my mom and Jami used to decorate the plaque I instantly recognized. They were my dads ties.
I thought of him in his suits at church writing my brothers while they were on their missions. One thing that really sticks out with the ties is during the time that dad was ill and still moving my mom would every sunday take the time to tie his tie for him. I never heard her complain about it, I think she actually enjoyed it. But wow a tie brought me to streaming tears. iI still miss my dad everyday, but I know he was there for Coleman and Porters special day and would be proud of them and my siblings and their families and the things that they are doing. But on a happier note I am so proud of Porter for being baptized. I Love this little guy more then he will ever know..

Every other day is a Birthday!!

I can't believe how many birthdays we have in March and April ! I am not a big fan of birthday parties. So, it gives me a lot of stress. Why can't they just be simple go out to eat with mom and dad and your brothers and sisters. That's what we did.. John would say where do you want to go to dinner for your birthday, and usually he would add in "would you like to go to KFC, or would you like to go to KFC?" He was famous for that one liner. But this year we have had many birthdays and I think the one that has been the hardest for me was Porters. He is 8!!! Where in the heck did 8 years go? I cried getting him a suit, I cried when Jami was taking his pictures, I cried mailing and sending out announcements. I have cried alot, but I am very proud of the choice he is making. I have also been a little bummed out that my dad isn't here to share in this day with him. But I am sure he will be watching from above with his sparkly blue eyes..First was Jakes birthday. We had a PINK get together for him with the boys. We had a pink cake and he got a barbie movie from Drey, in a pink bag for the birthday Girl.
I think Kellers face sums up is birthday party. All he wanted was a football cake, and when we started the candles with the fire. Well you can see how that went over..
I do love my boys and love the choices and the boys that they are. I couldn't have asked for two more opposite sweet spirits. Each with his own challenges and joys.

OH what a night!!

This is our great date night with our moms. It ended up being an adventure beyond anything we could have imagined.. So I will start from the beginning. In October I saw on a blog you could put in for the Church Christmas program with Yes David Archaleta and the Morman Tabernacle Choir. So I did.. Two months later in the mail I got tickets and thought how did I get these. Then I remembered I put in for the drawing. So we decided we would take our moms because no children under 8 were allowed. So I wondered why all the people in the lines where holding babies in the freezing cold. Obviously they don't know how to read. So two days before the concert we debated on giving the tickets to Jakes boss so we could go to Fillmore and decorate dads grave. But we didn't. So we headed up to the big city ready for the big night. Arriving an hour early going through security waiting in line forever in the cold. By the time we got in with 30 minutes tell show time there were no seats left. Thats right I said it NO SEATS LEFT. THe over book the concerts by 5,000. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.. So they told us we had to go into the over flow but you had to have a blue ticket to get in to show you were here on time and just didn't get a seat. So now waiting in line at the overflow theater with our blue tickets in had. They announce that it is now full. How can this be I have a ticket for the full conference center and a blue ticket for the overflow theater. By this point in time Jake was pretty mad to say the least he was throwing in the towel and told me to never do anything like this through the church again. So we walked over to look at the lights at Temple square and at the old Tabernacle was another overflow seating so we thought we would try it out. So as we were looking for our tickets the people were like come on in now worries. The concert has started come sit down. So my advice to you is if you want to go to the Christmas concert next year. Just go and sit in the the tabernacle, because idiots like up are trying to use the tickets that they received in the mail. We did watch the concert on the big screen in the old tabernacle. There was a sweet spirit there and I loved David Archaletas voice. He is still very giggly but the boy can sing. So in all we had a great night and loved the concert, got some exercise and spent some quality time with our moms. But the best part of the night was the lady running full speed UP the DOWN escalator. I am pretty sure it left a mark.