My one Word this year is Pause!!

My word of the year is going to be PAUSE!! Stop once in a while Pause and just enjoy life!! Because you never know when it may turn on you. Every year I look so forward to getting out of January. It is a month I just HATE.. .It is the month that everything bad seems to happen. I would be ok with a 11 month of the year calendar. IT is the month I lost my grandpa, one of our families dearest friends Lloyd, I miscarried my first baby in January and I lost my Father in January. So it is a month that honestly if we can get through it safely I feel good. This is the first time in many years that I actually have wondered where January went. Let me back up a month and half and tell ya why I wonder...All fall I would have to take weeks off from running and exercising for back pain. I would take a week off then run and be in pain, take time off run and hurt. But I handled it with a little Tylenol and advil. But I never just felt good. During Thanksgiving break and start of December if I sat down my left leg by the time I got to 10 would be totally numb. It was very annoying but I dealt with it. So in the middle of December I woke up and told jake in the middle of the night I was probably going to die. I didn't but I sure felt like it. So a few more days of hot baths every couple of hours and heating pads and icing and so much tylenol and advil I decided it was time to go to the dr. By the time I got into the drs office and he asked me to sit, I told him that if I sat I might explode. I had been eating dinner on my knees and as soon as I got home from work or anything I was flat in bed on heating pad. I soon found out that I had a large herniated disc with fragments. I was going to not have surgery and deal with it with physical therapy. Well that came to a quick stop after christmas break when I came home from the first day back at school and didn't get out of bed for 3 days. I have never felt so much pain. But the bottom line for the surgery decision came after a fast of what to do. My pain became so intolerable that I couldn't stand it. So surgery was decided. I was scared for the 3 days I had to wait. I cried, gave Jake instructions on what needed to happen after I died. I new I was going to have the January curse. SO even being administered the medicine for surgery I was giving Jake instructions on how to raise the kids and what he needed to do.
I came out alive, feeling better and so glad I did it. Now I am trying to get back strength and movement. But I am alive. I learned many lesson from this surgery. I know that is why I had the trial I did.

1. I love my husband and children more than anything.

2. I love that my husband is a worthy priesthood holder. I loved the comfort of the blessings I received from husband, brother in law and brother, and father in law over this time.

3. My mother and sister are my rocks and they are the best in the world. They are the McMuffins of sister and mothers.

4. My in laws truly love me and accept me as one of their own. They were fabulous.

5. I have some guardian angels looking out for me in a father, grandpa and a recently lost sweet cousin.

6. I have some great friends who stepped up and brought in dinners and took my kids and did everything that I asked or needed.

7.I have a great family support in grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, not one day have I gone with out someone checking on me.

8. I am prideful and sometimes I just need to drop it and get some help from others. It took a surgery to realize that.

9. I am loved by my heavenly father.

10. I need to pause every once in a while and look at all the blessings I have around me.

So I encourage you to pick a word and see how you do with it this year. I am now pausing with this post cause I am pretty sure you are sick of the ramblings.